A Lifetime of Guilt
by Jarme
Summary: Rewriting this to start from a different perspective. The jail cell introduction is way too overused.
1. Chapter 1

I never thought it would end up like this. Wasting away in a cell was not my plan. If that filthy idiot hadn't gone running his mouth he wouldn't have been decorating the floor of that pub. I never expected to let it get to me, but years of his jabs at me for never being "man enough" to join him and his stupid friends. I still wonder why they tried so hard to make me into something that I was never going to be. Probably trying to only take his own kind in. I guess he got his wish, but it was just that it was also his own downfall.

"Hey you, Wood elf. You realize you're far from your home woods here in Cyrodiil. I hope you enjoy the comforts of that cell because you're never going to leave it," the dark elf chuckled softly to himself. Dunmer were always so quick to judge. Thinking that he knew the regret I carried with myself everyday. "Oh is that the guards that I hear? Must be coming to carry you off to your sentencing. I guess we won't be friends for very long after all. Unfortunate because you seem to have such an interesting story behind that childish little face of yours," he said contemptuously.

I knew he was simply playing off my emotions. Trying to get a sense of whether I would fight back when provoked. Trying to see what kind of criminal I was. I wasn't going to bite. Better to be silent and keep them guessing is what I had learned.

The sound of footsteps heightened as a guard entered my view coming down the staircase. They were quick, and followed by a well dressed man. I moved towards the back of the cell as I was used to. Typical procedure keeping me at a safe distance as they opened the door. The group of two guards and the man talked softly at the door of my cell, peering in at me. I looked up to try to catch some of the conversation and caught the eye of who I know recognized to be Emperor Septim. He stared at me with an odd stare, as if he knew me. I quickly looked down and away, and heard him say something like, "I've seen this before. This man has been in my dreams."

The guard opened the door and sneered at me to stay near the window with a threat of violence as if I needed a reason to not try anything swift. I carried around enough guilt to know messing with them in front of the Emperor would not lessen my burden. What I would give to live another day outside in the freedom. I had spent a year imprisoned in Valenwood, and was reassigned just recently to the Imperial Prison here in Cyrodiil.

The three entered the cell, and the Emperor did not lower his gaze from me the whole time. I shuffled my feet feeling awkward, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Show me your face," he said commandingly. I acquiesced and looked into his eyes. They were blue and innocent, with a look of surprise. "You're the one from my dreams,"

"What do you mean, Emperor?" I asked astonished to realize I had heard him correctly. "Unless my memory fails me we've never met before. How could I be in your dreams?"

"Indeed it is strange, but the current times are unsure, and I am never one to doubt the tellings of the Divines. Of what you will do I am not sure, but Tamriel will certainly hear of your name."

With that a guard interceded and urged the Emperor to hurry along with their planned evacuation. I was left with so many unanswered questions, but I couldn't bother to waste them any more time. They opened a secret passage, and never told me not to follow them. Simply to stay out of their way.

I looked around the cell for a minute, and then towards the opening that had appeared. The Dunmer was holding his cell door peering through to mine. I gave him a wave and slight smile as I headed into the opening.

The halls were narrow, and didn't seem to be well maintained. I caught a glimpse of one of the guards just passing through the door ahead of me and heard it lock. There were bodies strewn across the floor, and I noted the lady guard now lay motionless. I kneeled down next to her and said a quick prayer to Arkay, that her soul may be received peacefully. Oblivion would be a horrid place to live for eternity.

I shuffled back to my feet, and then heard a quiet squeak. I peeked around the corner and saw two rats. They also caught sight of me, and started to sprint towards me. I was always the quiet sneaky type. Never very good with my hands or a sword, but that was all that I was left with. I rushed back to the guard's body and scooped up her shortsword. I quickly turned back towards the rats and pointed the blade towards them. They both paused momentarily. One got the courage to take a leap at me and I quickly beat it with the flat side of the blade not wanting to kill it. The damage was done though. It slid across the floor, and I felt sympathy as it let out high pitch squeals of pain. The other rat looked towards the immobile rat, and then back towards me. He scampered back from where he came, and I went to take care of the other rat.

"It's alright, buddy. I'm very sorry for hurting you, but I know we just misunderstood each other. You will be with Kynareth soon," and with that I slid the blade cleanly through the rat's throat. I made my way through the hole the rats had appeared from. I had a bad feeling more threats lay ahead.

It seems it was not the first time I had been able to persuade an animal from otherwise attacking me. A skill I had acquired. Or possibly a connection with nature bestowed upon me by Kynareth herself. I found a bow on the ground next to an unfortunate traveler left to rot. It was rusty with the wear of time, but I figured if I had to fight my way through here it would be best to sneak my way through, and what I would not be able to sneak past I would take out before it knew I was there. The bow felt much more comfortable in my grip, and I head into the next room. Anything that was in my path I took out painlessly, and sent my prayers to Kynareth to deliver them easily into the afterlife.

I searched a few of the barrels along the way, and found some ale. It would have been so nice to sip the spirits and slip away to sleep, but my better judgement told me to wait until I was out of these dungeon passageways. I picked up a nice looking staff that glowed with enchantment from a troll along the way. Lucky for me the goblin never had a chance to use it against me, so I was still unsure what damage it was capable of. I kept it simply to make a fair bit of profit consider I only had what I found along the way to my current name.

I came through a hole in the wall of the secret passageway, and met back up with the Emperor and his two remaining guards. A guard rushed at me, and I cowered with my hands shielding me from harm. The Emperor quickly yelled the guard off me saying that they needed to keep me with them for aid. What help could I be? I had trouble killing measly rats without feeling guilt for those actions. I surely couldn't assist against trained assassins.

A couple packs ambushed us as we continued to walk through the passageways, and I recognized the markings from their robes as I stepped over one of them. These were Red Dawn assassins. I hadn't noticed it before because of their summoned weapons and armor. These were well trained assassins, and I could tell the guards were getting weary. We entered a room with a gate blocking our path. One of the guards quickly yelled of it being a trap, and soon enough the assassins appeared again, and the Emperor rushed into a side hall, and I quickly followed him.

"You must take the Amulet. I fear this is where it ends for me," Emperor Septim hurriedly passed me the Amulet, and I slipped it into my pocket.

Not a second after an assassin appeared from a secret window and struck him before I could even utter a warning. His body crumpled to the floor in front of me, and the assassin was quickly beat down by a guard. This was all my fault. If only I had been better with a blade. I was just a horrible thief that couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. I lived in the shadows, and there was no place I would rather be now, but I had a guard to answer to now about the disappearance of the amulet.

"Where has the amulet gone? I cannot find it on the Emperor's body!" the guard asked.

"He gave it to me. Told me I must deliver it to a man named Jauffre."

"Jauffre? I wonder why he trusts you, but it is not wise for me to question his judgement. He can see more than a simple man such as me. I know of Jauffre however, and I suggest you head to Weynon Priory to meet up with him immediately. You have a bit of the sewers left ahead of you, but I trust you'll be able to manage your way through."

"Thank you," I replied to him, and he handed me a key to get into the sewers. I parted with him, and left him to guard the motionless body of the Emperor. I thought to myself again that I could have saved him, but I was too dumb. I was too foolish to leap in front of the attacker and maybe take the blow that killed him. I knew these thoughts would haunt me for my lifetime. But no, I had a chance to redeem myself. The Emperor trusted me when I didn't trust myself. The Divines are obviously looking upon me. I must have done something right for them to be in my favor. I must deliver this amulet, and find the rightful heir. I must learn to step out from these shadows that have enveloped me in their safety for all too long.


	2. Chapter 2

I stepped through the last sewer gate, The light blinded me even though the sun was past halfway on its downturn. The contrast from the sewers to this wonderful sight was astonishing. The water reflected the light ahead of me and the trees on the opposite shore swayed in the wind as they wound their way up the mountain. I made my way to the water's edge and splashed my face to wash away the dirt and grime of the sewers. The guard had pointed me in the direction of Weynon Priory, but I needed to head to the Imperial City first.

I made the short trip up the hill and around the Prison. I paused momentarily at the prison door.

"I will never again find myself inside those walls again as a prisoner. Today I am a changed man. I must find the strength to believe what others say is true of me," I said resolutely.

The market district was buzzing with life. A man was running around passing out the latest edition of the Black Horse Courier. An article on the front showed a picture of the supposed Gray Fox. I assumed it was just some story made up by the Guard to keep themselves looking busy. Surely somebody that notorious could not elude the Imperial Watch for so long while remaining right under their noses.

* * *

"You really need to stop this Jarme. It's not good for your reputation. Just think if you were to be caught! You would be sent to jail for an eternity!" Prianth said worriedly.

"What do you expect me to do? I can't find work, and we need to eat. Trust me dear. I've come very far from what I used to be. I did it for you. I did it for us. I haven't tasted the sweet nectar of skooma in five years now," I replied. Bringing back the memories of my reckless younger years always haunted me so.

"I cannot love a thief. Jarme, I love you, but I do not love what you've been doing,"

* * *

I woke up to a guard dragging me to the edge of the walk.

"Are you alright? You simply collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk," the guard asked.

I was still a bit confused, thoughts of my memory going through my mind. "I'm… I'm alright. Thank you very much,"

"What's your name? You look a bit famished." The guard looked me over contemplatively. I was sure he assumed me to be a common beggar from my appearance and unsophisticated garb.

"I'm Jarme. I could use a meal. Where do you recommend I go?"

"Well, The Feed Bag is cheap, but it won't fill you up. Good for a quick bite though. In fact I'm headed over there now. My name is Palonzo. I'll take you over and treat you. You seem to have an interesting tale behind that face of yours. You surely aren't a common beggar?"

I got up to my feet, "I'm new to Cyrodiil. Haven't been here very long, but far from a beggar. I used to craft bows. Ran into a bit of trouble with competition, and here I am now." It wasn't the complete truth, but surely better than giving him more of a reason to analyze me.

"Surely you aren't that great of a craftsman. That bow of yours is rusted to the core," Palonzo mocked.

"Right. Sure is."

He stared at me unsure of what to say.


End file.
